unavoidable question

written october 1st, 2024

Photo by Ilkka Kärkkäinen on Unsplash

not so long ago, my region of the country was devasted by hurricane helene. it was so not long ago that many still feel the tragic effects of this act of nature. i was among the lucky ones & i grieve for humans within these mountains that i do not know but wish i could go back in time & stop their world from crumbling. currently, on the other side of the country, a powerful force is decimating the land. again, i grieve for humans i do not know & i ask myself “why have i been so lucky?”.

"why me?"
a selfish question when phrased, 
"why is this happening to me & not to others?" 
a question asked out of guilt when phrased, 
"why did this happen to them & not to me?"

our lack of control is what we simply
cannot control 
but only attempt to comprehend 
as the world turns us around 

there is so much happening 
to us 
for us 
against us 

we ask ourselves why we have it so hard 
or
we ponder why we get so lucky 
when others do not 

we look for divine explanation
we cling to beliefs grounded in faith
that we have somehow convinced ourselves
to possess 

but our lack of control is unexplainable 
so we live on 
& we try to quiet our brains 
when the unavoidable question 
gets stuck on repeat 
"why me?"